Dad Dance

DADDY: What are you doing?

LILLY: I'm copying your dance moves.

DADDY: But they look awful!

LILLY: Yes but you do a good moon walk, it is very funny.

Chicken Dance

LILLY: And now you dance around in a circle.

DADDY: In what level of hell do they play this?

LILLY: Why do you hate the Chicken Song?

DADDY: It is the opposite of everything I stand for.

LILLY: But it's happy.

DADDY: Eggsactly.

Trousers

DADDY: You know how old people wear their trousers too high?

LILLY: Yes.

DADDY: If I started doing that you would tell me wouldn't you?

LILLY: It depends.

DADDY: On what?

LILLY: On how funny you looked.

Piracy, It's a Crime

LILLY: You wouldn’t steal a car

DADDY: I would if I could download one.

LILLY: LOL.

DADDY: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Sleep

DADDY: Are you asleep?

LILLY: I was you bald arsed doofus!

DADDY: Sorry. Good insult though.

LILLY: I just make them up, do you want to hear another one?

Socks

DADDY: I just bought new socks.

LILLY: Good because your feet are horrible.

DADDY: Unfortunately they run in the family...

LILLY: Heh heh.

Word of Last Week

DADDY: Do you know why we didn't have a word of the week last week?

LILLY: No.

DADDY: Because the word of the week was PROCRASTINATE, do you know what that means?

LILLY: No daddy.

DADDY: It which to say you are going to do something and then keep putting it off. It is one of my skills.

LILLY: LOL.

Too Much Honesty

LILLY: You don't have to help me with everything, I can do this.

DADDY: But I like to help, one day you will be able to do everything for yourself and probably think I am useless.

LILLY: I already think you are useless.

Honesty

LILLY: You are a weird bald man.

DADDY: I can't argue with that, mummy once said I am the strangest man she knows.

LILLY: Weird!

More on Birthdays

LILLY: I actually know you are  forty nine now daddy.

DADDY: I'm forty eight.

LILLY: Forty eight, forty nine what's the big difference sister?

DADDY: Harumph!

Birthdays

DADDY: It is my birthday tomorrow, how old do you think I will be?

LILLY: A hundred...Why are you looking at me like that daddy?

Snakes

LILLY: If you get bitten by a poisonous snake could you die?

DADDY: Yes but don't worry most of the really venomous snakes live in Australia.

LILLY: We live in Australia you poop!

DADDY: At the moment...

Word of the Week

DADDY: Lilly what would you like for breakfast? You can have anything.

LILLY: Icecream!

DADDY: You are about to experience the word of the week which is DISMAY.

LILLY: LOL.

DADDY: Do you know that mummy wanted me to read a book called The Secret of Happy Children?

LILLY: Did you?

DADDY: No.

LILLY: Oh.

Faces

LILLY: Do you see that face in the mirror?

DADDY: Yes Lilly.

LILLY: You are stuck with that all day.

DADDY: Really?

LILLY: Yes, warts and and all.

Friends

DADDY: A friend in need...

LILLY: Is a needy friend.